It's been a while since I've written. It's been a stressful couple of weeks. The parents are getting up in their years and the live in a different state and they have been ill. One still lives at home and the other in a nursing home. Dad who is still at home complains that he's lonely but I can't bring one without the other and I don't have room for both, nor can I care for both. Mom's too heavy and requires too much care for me to be able to handle her and she would be offended if I brought Dad here without her. Not to mention that 1> he smokes and I can't stand smoking, and 2> he and I don't get along all that well and never have. So I feel stuck and guilty.
I know you are supposed to care for your family and I do love them but they have never taken care of themselves even when I begged them to do so. So now I feel like why should I pay for their lifetime of self abuse and drinking. Neither one would be in the position they are in had they ever cared about their heath. Mom with the diabetis eats sweets and snacks even when her doctor scolds her about it. And dad enables her by bringing it to her. Oh I know he thinks he's being nice to her but he's not but you can't tell them otherwise. It's not like they don't know, they just don't care. So why should I?
Dad has to go in for a biopsy to check for prostate cancer on Thursday. So we'll see what's up there. We talked earlier today about his insurance benefits and apparently he's got cancer insurance so I feel better about that as the financial situation had been weighing heavily on my mind. My Guy and I are just getting to the point where we can save for our retirement and we can't dip into that savings for anything not to mention that The Girl still needs college money. yikes...see why I'm stressed?
OK the good news and my sanity is the INXS concert is only 8 days away. I can hardly wait.
Current Mood:
stressed
Current Music:
John Mayer Trio "Who did you think I was?"
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